It's never too late for change......

A year ago on Mother's Day I had what I lovingly refer to as "The Intervention".  I had reached an all time low.  The events over the past 17 years had taken their toll on me and between that and recent happenings at my job I was on antidepressants and addicted to food.  I had reached an all time high in my weight and and all time low in my depression. 

My health was a mess, I was on two different pills to try and keep my blood pressure under control and even then it was still high. I was feeling like if I never showed up anywhere again I wouldn't even be missed, not suicidal, I just become reclusive when I'm depressed.  I figured I was just going to always be fat and alone.

My family was worried about me, especially my girls.  So on Mother's day they sat me down and we talked.  It started out kinda shaky at first but it ended up okay.  They said things I needed to hear and I left it with a promise to them to look into some programs.

My friend at work, Connie had joined Weight Watchers that last February and was having great success in losing weight and she really liked the program so I went and checked it out.  The result...On May 26, 2010 I joined Weight Watchers to help me change my life. 

I was (embarrassed to say) 303.4 pounds (and I had lost 14 before I started).  Here is a VERY rare picture of me that was actually taken a year before "the intervention".  The smile is fake because I was anything but happy.  I was drowning and didn't know how to make it stop.

I keep this picture on my phone and look at it to remind me of where I have come from. 

So a year later I have had great success in changing my lifestyle. I am no longer on antidepressants or high blood pressure medications. I have lost 116.8 pounds with Weight Watchers plus the 14 I had lost the month before for a grand total of 130 pounds.  My doctor is thrilled.

Weight Watchers is a lifestyle not a diet.  It has taught me to eat correctly and take better care of myself through proper diet and exercise.  It has helped me to learn how to handle my emotions without food.  Do I still slip once in a while?  Yes, but I just get back up and get myself back on track.  I am genuinely happy now and I feel great!

Every spring Weight Watchers has a Walk It Challenge with a 5k.  Last year at this time it took me over 10 minutes just to walk around my block and I was winded.  This year I walked/jogged the 5k!

Here is a picture of myself and my dear friend Fran before the walk.  She is also a WW member and works for them.

This is Lorrie and LeAnn.....

The 5k was around the Mantua Reservoir.  It was the first sunny day we had had in weeks.  The reservoir is nestled in the mountain and it is a beautiful walk.  My time for my first 5k......48.10.  Not going to break any speed records with that but I was proud of it non the less.  That time was actually 5 minutes faster than the Saturday before when LeAnn and I had come up to give the route a trial run. 

We could order Walk It shirts from WW and you could have one of their sayings on the back or put one of your own.  On the back of mine I put "Because I Can!".  One thing I have learned through this journey to get my life back is that I can do anything I put my mind to!  It is never to late to change your life around,  just look at me.  I have a blog on the WW site here if you want to read about my journey more.

I still have a ways to go to get to my goal, but I will get there.  I have made a lot of changes in how I eat and live and deal with life in general, but like all projects it is a work in progress and it is something that I will always have to be aware of.  I'm not proud of where I've been but I'm proud of where I am and where I'm going.  I don't ever want to be that person I was a year ago again.

What can make a long day at work even longer........

THIS!

This is my friend and fellow carpooler (word?) Conly, changing the flat tire that we got just as we turned the corner by the store to head out to the freeway, at least it blew before we got on. 

We were right off Wall, and this is not the better part of town.  While Conly was changing the tire this guy kept riding by on his bicycle, nothing happened but he made me nervous.

Then to make it an even longer day....you can only go 50-55 mph on a donut so we had to take the back roads home with the emergency flashers on.   Fun times! 

While we were enjoying the scenery the Steppenwolf song "Born To Be Wild" kept running through my head.  I think it was torture for poor Conly to have to drive Jean Claude (his car) that slow. I did my best to entertain him while we coasted along.  I won't go into what was going along faster than we were.....it will just make Conly and Jean Claude feel bad ;).

When we got to Brigham, we went straight to the Walmart so that he could get a new tire before the TLE closed.  We just barely made it.  So while I waited, I ran (by ran I mean I walked to the other side of the store) to the Subway and got a salad for dinner.  I tried to buy Conly something but he wouldn't let me.

By the time I finally got to my car (we meet at the Flying J off the 1100 S. Exit) and got home it was 7:00.  It's never a dull ride when you're with Conly.  It's also good to know that he can change a tire, of course he said that if I get a flat tire he will just sit in the car and make me do it.  That's what he says, but he really is a nice guy, I might have to pay him, but he would change the tire for me.

Ducks, Hot Air Balloons and Dance Competitions.........

Friday morning when Conly and I got out of the car right there walking in front of us was a male Mallard and it's mate.  They were just walking across the parking lot.  We came up behind them and they didn't even fly away, just kept walking around.  I tried to get a picture with my phone but it wasn't good enough to really show them.  Who would have thought I would be seeing wildlife in the parking lot on Wall Avenue in Ogden. Conly just wanted to shoot them but unfortunately they were not in season and he didn't have a gun.

We have a week and a half before our grand opening so things are really starting to pick up.  We had a week long bake sale to raise money for CMN (Children's Miracle Network) more specifically Primary Children's Hospital.  There were all kinds of goodies all week long.  We also had luncheons everyday.  Monday-Pizza, Tuesday-sloppy joes, Wednesday-pot luck, Thursday-breakfast burritos, and Friday we had hamburgers and hot dogs and invited the local police and fire departments to join us.  Sure beat bringing a sandwich everyday.

Saturday I went with Leslie and Miss Cambria (no boys this time) to Roy High to watch her compete with her dance studio.  On the way down we saw a hot air balloon just floating along by itself.  I caught a picture of it as we drove by.

Here is a picture of Cambria right before they came out to do their Cheer routine.  She was showing a little stress because she had to do a back hand spring right as they came out on the floor and she has just gotten them down this last year and it still makes her scared that she will fall on her head or just mess them up. 

But she did them just fine (was there any doubt?) Here she is at the top of the pyramid (on the left) at the end of the routine....

All smiles and confidence...... 

They did their big show number, which is all of the classes coming out and dancing.  It is pretty impressive, especially since they have a lot of girls. 

 Here is Cambria doing her scorpion..not to brag but look at hers compared to the other girls...perfection! 

Then she danced her lyrical.....once a gain another perfect scorpion..... 

To end it all was her hip-hop....... 

In case you hadn't noticed I just love to watch Cambria dance and there are more pictures on my FB if you want to look.  She just lights up when she hits the dance floor and she is REALLY good.  She reminds me of her Mom and her Aunt Jamie, they were the same way.  They danced their hearts out and loved it. 

Today is Mother's day and I just wanted to mention the Mother's in my life. 

My mom.....is the smartest person I know and very artistic. She has been a great example to me and because of that I feel like I have been a better mother.

Jamie and Leslie....their lives haven't always been easy and I haven't always been the best mother but they turned out to be great mom's and I couldn't be prouder of them.

So Happy Mother's Day to all my friends and family, I hope this day turns out to be a happy one for you all.

May 1st, or....where is Spring?

Well here I am in a quest to journal more often.  I thought about it during the week but just didn't get around to doing it.  I did, however, have time to watch the new Bleach episode and try out a couple of other new anime's (I'm sorry my geeky side wins sometimes).

April to a lot of people means springtime, but if you live in northern Utah it usually means an extension of winter.  The last day we had in the 60's was back in February, what's up with that?  It has rained and snowed most of the month.  We are used to that but one of our store planners is from Arizona and he is always coming into my office and complaining about the cold.  I keep telling him that it is not really that cold but I don't think he's buying it.

Today is the first of May and it is a LITTLE warmer than yesterday (in which I was driving over to Logan where it was snowing).  All this rain and snow is causing my grass to green up nicely and it has reached a height of about 6 to 8 inches. This made it really easy to hide the Easter eggs last weekend.  It won't be so easy to cut when it dries out.

The other thing that is happening with all this rain and snow is that the rivers and stream are reaching the tops of their banks and the snow pack hasn't even started to melt yet. 

The Ogden river runs right behind the store and my office is on the back corner of the building.  My boss keeps coming in and tells me to watch the outside corner of my office for water.  He laughs but this is not something I want to see.  We actually went out the fire door right by my office door and looked at the river with a guy from the city.....when the snow starts to melt it could get a little damp I'm not gonna lie

The city is actually building a nice little park behind our store in front of the river.  In the summer it should be a nice place to go back and eat lunch, if it's not under water :).

One of the guys setting traps by the doors informed Jeanell and I that because of the river and the fact that there is space at the bottom of the doors we could possibly get snakes in from the river.  We just looked at each other and cringed.

Carpooling with Conly has been very entertaining. I just love him. When he drives I get to listen to Bulgarian rock music and when I drive he keeps changing my radio stations.

We've started packing our lunches in an effort to save money that we now need for gas.  Because we are in store set up there are a lot of employees working at the same hours.  This means everyone goes to lunch at the same time.  If you don't get to the break room fast enough you don't get a place to sit.  Also if you bring something that needs to be heated up you will be standing in line at one of the two microwaves for the first half of your lunch.

In order to combat this, I punch out for lunch 15 minutes before the others (I can since I'm in the office) and I go to get a table and if Conly, Sara or I have anything that needs to be heated up I hurry and use the microwaves before the rush comes.  This has been working out nicely.  Conly really likes this because he just has to come in and sit down, his lunch is all ready for him.  I'm such a nice person sometimes.........

I got to spend two days getting MTR's (merchandise transfers) ready to go out to three different stores.  Our store was traded incorrectly in apparel and we had to get rid of the excess.  Vanessa (asst. manager) asked me to help her (I told you I was a nice person).  I asked our Claims associate....Mr. Benjamin...to help me. He is crazy and we are going to get along just fine.  He asked me how he got stuck helping and I told him if I had to suffer so did he.  I think that's fair, don't you?

Then there's Fernando.  He is one BIG man. Last week he came and sat at the table with Conly, Sara and I.  To be honest I was a little scared but that has now changed.  I asked him if he was a transfer from another store or a newbie.  He is a newbie.  He also told us he works another job...I asked doing what.....he replied...a bouncer at a bar.  I'm sure he is very good at that.  I told him that he probably had some very interesting stories to tell and that I would love to hear them.  Sara asked him if he had any kids and he said no and then she asked him if he was married and he told us "I am NEVER getting married!"  I told him that was the kiss of death to actually say those words. 

We now call him Nando and he really is a nice guy, a gentle giant.  He always is smiling and is nice to everyone.  When I see him I think of the children's story "Fernande the Bull".  Everyone thought he was a big mean bull and all he wanted to do was sit under a tree and smell the flowers.

I really love my new store. The managers are great and it is so much fun.  I am on the promotional and safety committees now (I had quit being on them at my old store).  This really has been a good move for me so far.  Josh, the store manager, keeps giving me more and more responsibilities.  It's nice to have people think that you know what you are doing and they trust you to do it.  It has given my self confidence a much needed boost. 

Grandma's Easter party 2011.......

Okay, I'm sure people have quit looking at my blog because I am such a slacker at updating.  I will try to get better I promise!

Friday night I was getting things ready for my annual Easter party.  I decided to make pies.  Yes, I said pies.  I have NEVER in my life made a pie, really.  But I found this recipe for strawberry pie and I just had to make it for my Easter party.  I honestly don't know what possessed me.

So Friday night I sat cutting up 4 pounds of strawberries (2 pounds per pie).  They were so easy to make (especially since it called for graham cracker crusts that I could buy all ready to go).  Here is a picture of the finished products.  I have to say they looked great and they tasted as Leslie put it "delish!"  I was quite proud of myself.

Saturday afternoon the gang came over and we started by coloring eggs.  Here is everyone...

 (this is what I get when I say "Everyone look at Grandma!") 

Gunner took off his shirt so he wouldn't get egg dye all over it and I had to give Cambria an old shirt of mine to cover her white clothes.  Cambria's eggs were covered in glitter and sequins (I know you are all surprised by that) and Jax's eggs all had crazy faces.  Gunner told me that my party was the best part of Easter.  That's all I need to hear to keep this tradition going.

We had Hawaiian Haystacks and rolls for lunch.  Very yummy. The kids just wanted to get to the egg hunt part of the party so we had to do a little 'convincing' to get them to eat.

They found all the eggs, and it was really great to see the older ones (Jax and Cambria) making sure Gunner found all his eggs.  I gave them each a little gift, Jax, Trev and Braxton got Lego sets, Gunner got puzzles and Cambria got a jewelry making kit.  They were all happy with their 'spoils'.

Then there was this moment....

Yes, there is a story to go with it....

I couldn't post this picture on FB with the rest of them because Jamie was sick and said she looked horrible (which she didn't) but she didn't say I couldn't put it here on my blog (of course I didn't ask her either).  :)

The story....
Cambria had said that she had stepped on a nail (not at my house) and so she was showing her foot to Leslie.  When Leslie was done looking at it Cambria was sitting on the couch with her foot pulled up looking at the bottom of her foot.  Angel was shocked and asked Cambria how she could twist her leg around and look and the bottom of her foot like that.  Surely no one else could do something like that.  Well my girls and I all said that we could do that and to prove it.....we have a picture.

After everything had settled down we had the pie. Yes, they were yummy but I had let one sit out on the counter and so when I cut into it, it didn't hold together well when I took it out of the pie tin.  It kinda was a big pile of strawberries and graham cracker on a plate not really resembling a piece of pie.  But no one seemed to mind because they all cleaned their plates and Angel took my other pie home to share with friends.

Today in church I was the "music lady".  It was my turn to play the organ, I love it when I get the holidays cause I get to play some of my favorite songs.  Then I had to fill in at the piano in Junior Primary (Letty had to take her visiting daughter to the airport).  Then I had to rush in to Relief Society to lead the music. Whew!!!!!

I hope you all have a Happy Easter!

Highlights of the past 2 weeks......or I am a slacker..........

So it's not like I haven't had anything to write about....I just haven't done it.   So a quick recap......

It's a small world.......
A couple of weeks ago a vendor came to my office window, like he has for the past 2 years, to get a P.O. number from me.  I was giving him a bad time when he stopped and looked at me and said "Didn't you used to work at Grand Central?!"  I stopped and just stared at him.  I worked at Grand Central over twenty some years age.  Who would possibly remember me and better yet HOW (as in good or bad) did they remember me? 

I said cautiously, " Yes.....Why?"  He said, " You don't recognize me do you?".  I said "Nooooo.".  He said, "I'm Jim Shores!"  I said "Oh. My. Hell!" and started to laugh.  Connie who was in my office was just staring at us.  I told her "He was my first boss when I started with Grand Central!"

We talked for a little bit more and then he had to go.  Who would have thought someone would have remembered me from that long ago.  Heck I can't remember people from yesterday sometimes....... 

Cambria's school program........
Last Friday I took off early from work to go out and watch Cambria's school program.   I love school programs, kids are so much fun to watch.  I went out early and had lunch with Leslie and Gunner.  When I got to their house Gunner was waiting for me by the door.  He had his Buzz Lightyear backpack on and said the minute he saw me, "Grandma, I'm all ready to go to scwool!"

Gunner has wanted to go to school since his 3rd birthday last summer when Angel first gave him that backpack. 

So the whole time I was there he kept that backpack on.  Even at the table while we ate lunch.  I was waiting for Les to get done doing a client's nails and looking through some photo albums she had made when Gunner saw a picture from Christmas with him holding the Batman lunchbox and water bottle I had given him.  He had to have me get it out of the cupboard and fill it with water for him.  Then he asked me it it would spill if he put it in his backpack.  I told him no because I had put the lid on tight.

We went to the school, yes Gunner still had the backpack on, to see the program.  Cambria played the recorder, sang songs, and said her line.  She was of course perfect (okay, so I'm a little biased).  I would at this time show pictures but the batteries in my camera decided to die at the moment the program began :(.

When the program was over Cambria and Braxton came out and I was just going to say goodbye when Braxton begged me to stay "just one more hour!"  How can I resist that?  So all the kids jumped in my car and I went back to Leslie's.

I was sitting talking to Les when I looked down at Gunner.  He was eating a sandwich.  I asked him where he got the sandwich and he proudly said "It was in my backpack."  I asked him if he made it and he told me that he had.  Then he pulled out the Batman water bottle and another bottle of water and showed me those.  I told Leslie she is going to have to check his backpack every morning when he actually does start to go to school.  But at least he will be prepared.

Then I sat on the couch and watched Spongebob with the kids cuddled  around me until I had to go.

Martin Harris Pageant Auditions......
My friend Carrie has been involved the the Martin Harris Pageant in Logan for the last 7 years.  This year she is once again the choreographer.  She asked me back in January if I would be the pianist for the auditions. When I asked her what that involved she just told me that I would play for the people for the singing part of the audition and that it would be no problem for me because I had great sight reading skills. Right, no pressure there.......  She said that most people would just be singing songs from the Hymn book, but that a few people would bring something different.

So auditions were last Friday, Saturday, and this last Wednesday. Well just like American Idol, there was the good, the bad and the ugly.

I was put in a room with Rhonda (the director) and small groups of people would come in. She would have them read for her and then they would sing.  I think I played "I Am a Child of God" for 90% of the people trying out that night.  Really people.....be original......... A couple of the people brought their own pianist (whew....took the pressure off of me).

I have to wonder how people hear themselves.....I mean, I know that I don't have a great singing voice and I would NEVER think of having to make anyone listen to me sing.  I will sing in choirs, but that is because I can blend in or at home or car with the radio where no one can hear me. Anyway....there were a few people that when they started to sing I just cringed.  They were so off key it was scary.  I would even play the melody notes louder to try and help them get on key but that didn't work. I had to keep reminding myself that this wasn't Broadway.

There were a few that were wonderful though.  I love to play for someone that can sing and do it well.

Last night were the call backs.  There were only 3 women that Rhonda was trying to choose for the lead woman's role as Lucy Harris.  Carrie was one of them, yeah Carrie!  So they all had to read a scene with the guy that she had chosen to play Martin, and then sing solo and in a duet with him. So I got to play the music from the pageant.  Al three ladies could REALLY sing!  I loved it.  So now Carrie is waiting to see if she gets the role or not....Good luck Carrie!

After they were done Rhonda asked me if I will come back for rehearsals to play the piano.  The music is "canned" for the production but they need someone at rehearsals to help people learn the parts.  So I will be doing that in July.

Rhonda and Carrie were also trying to get me to audition.  I told them that I didn't sing, but Carrie said I could just be part of the extras for the town scenes.  I don't know, playing the piano in front of people is one thing....getting up on stage to be part of a production is another.  I've never had the desire to be on stage (acting and singing).  So we'll see what happens with that.

At these tryouts I had another "it's a small world" moment....Carrie introduced me to this man who had rewritten the script for the pageant.  We were talking when all of a sudden he stopped and looked at me and asked me if I had gone to Box Elder High.  Again I just stared at him..I only went to Box Elder my junior and senior year.  Who would remember me...and how would they remember me? 

I told him that I had.  He then asked me what my name was again.  I told him....he asked what my maiden name was, so I told him.  He just kept staring at me then he asked me my age (okay so now you are getting a little personal) I told him.  He all of a sudden smiled and said that we had gone to school together.  I just nodded my head.  I really don't remember many people from my high school years.  Mostly because I went to 2 different high schools.

So when I got home I looked in my year books but I can't find him.  I wonder if he knew me from my brothers or sisters.

Out with the old, in with the new......
This was my last week at the Perry store.  I am taking vacation next week and then I start at the new store on the 11th.

I am excited for this change and the challenges it will bring.  I will miss my friends but not so much some of the memories.  Some things that happened to me at this store were not great, which is some of the reasons I went for this transfer.  It's time for a fresh start!

My friend Connie got my job, so I've been training her all week.  She is nervous, but she will be great.

Last night Connie called me, her husband had gone to the Priesthood Session of conference, we went to this little boutique they were having at the Crystal Inn. Then we went to Wendy's and had our favorite....their chicken/apple/pecan salad. It is the yummiest!  You all should try it!  I went over to her house and we watched "Tangled"  She hadn't seen it so I brought over my DVD.  I still love that movie!!!!!

Dinner at Jamie's........

Tuesday I got a surprise at work.  Diana had come up to get her taxes done and she stopped by the store to see me!  We had a great talk and I was so happy she stopped by.  It made my whole day.

This week I had to go over to the North Logan store to help with their pre-inventory audit on Wednesday and Thursday.  I learned a lot and the girls that came from the other stores were so much fun.

Wednesday we decided to go to Olive Garden for lunch.  We had the world's worst waiter there.  He started out with the attitude that we were just annoying him to be in his presence.  Then every time he brought stuff to the table he would set it down in front of me and the girl across from me and tell us to "pass it down" (we were in a booth).  No "please" or anything nice like that.

Usually when they bring your meal they put it down in front of you and then ask if you want grated cheese or not. Nope not him,  he would leave it all on the tray and just say not ask if we all wanted cheese and then start grating, not even letting us say how much we wanted or anything.  I had to shout out that I didn't want cheese on mine and he looked at me like I was retarded.  But hey, it's my meal and if I don't want cheese on it I don't have to....jerk!

When he brought back our bills with our credit cards and change in them he just dumped them (really just dropped them) all in front of me with a pile of pens and walked off.  I had to sort them all out and pass them out to the girls. Needless to say he did NOT receive a tip from any of us!

Thursday we went to Chili's.  We had a much better experience.  The waitress was so good to us, and yes we all tipped her!

Friday I took off early and went down to Jamie's to spend time with her and the boys.  Jax was out of school early so I just hung out with him until Jamie got back from helping at another site.  Then I went up and hung out at her office until she could get off work.

Jamie, Jax and I went shopping .  We stopped at Old Navy and then went to the mall.  Jamie was trying to find things for them all to wear to a friends wedding she has coming up.  She found clothes for the boys but nothing for her.  I picked up some white tanks from Old Navy.

After shopping Jamie picked up Trevon and dropped us all off at her apartment while she went to get groceries.

She made tilipia and salad for dinner. Very good! 

After dinner Jax showed me how to play Plants vs. Zombies.  This was probably a big mistake because I ended up playing it past midnight.  Jax helped me along the way, giving me pointers on which plants to use and when. 

The boys fell asleep and I took the movie "The Brother's Grim" to Jax's room to watch.  I didn't see the whole movie because I fell asleep half way through it.  Jamie was down loading pictures on to her computer when I went upstairs.

Saturday morning I went downstairs and watched cartoons with the boys.  Is there any other way to spend a Saturday morning?  When Jamie woke up we watched "Ice Age 3".   

I took Jax home with me so that he could go to his dad's.  Johnny was at work so Jax stayed at my house until he came and picked him up.  We went to Arby's for lunch and then just hung out and watched TV and talked.  He is growing up so fast, he will be in Junior high this next year.