Birthday Weekend Part 1

I feel like the energizer bunny, except that I've been going, going, going, and I'm pretty sure my batteries are dead now.

Wednesday Michelle E. called me and asked me to accompany her this coming Sunday. Of course I can't say no and so she brought over the music. She is singing "Be Still My Soul". We set up a time on Thursday to practice together at 4:30. I thought this is doable because I get off at 4. Well it seems that Murphy's Law was in effect and I had a really busy day at work and got away late. She was standing at my door when I pulled in the driveway. The practice went well. We will get together Sunday morning before Sacrament meeting to run through it again.

Friday was my birthday. I have to tell you that I've been really struggling with my depression since all the happenings at work. My self worth and self confidence have hit a new all time low. I have always got through times of depression with the help of the counseling I had. I usually can pull myself out of it. This time it's been different and I've almost made an appointment so I could get something to help me but I haven't because I don't want to depend on drugs to make me feel better.

So anyway when I'm depressed I pull back and basically hide from the world and push people away. Which really makes it worse so then I get caught in a vicious cycle. I was really starting to think that no one would care what happened to me. It was so bad that I wasn't even playing the piano hardly at all, and that's one of the things that always helps me. The reason I'm telling you this is because of the things that happened on my birthday has helped dramatically in restoring my out look on myself and my life.

My day started out with me arriving at work and my dad called with his traditional happy birthday song. Then I skipped the morning meeting because I was in the middle of sending some emails. The next thing I knew was that all the associates that came to the meeting were coming in my office and then sang Happy Birthday to me and then as they left I was hugged by practically everyone.

Then I received a text from Jamie and one from Cambria. Leslie called after that and she, Cambria Braxton and Gunner sang to me. Then Gunner sang all by himself. It was the best and I wish I could have recorded it.

My friend Megan (hard ware department manager) came and gave me the hugest(is that a word?) bag of peanut m&m's (my favorite candy).

For lunch the backroom girls, Jan(claims supervisor), Connie (claims associate), Jade (UPC clerk), Megan (see above) and Michelle (GM receiving associate) who by the way is on leave of absence because she just had sinus surgery Monday but came anyway, took me to the new Mexican restaurant here in town (can't remember the name of it right now). The food was good and then all the waiters came out with a birthday cake (that Jan had given them before I got there) singing happy birthday in Spanish. The next thing I knew I had a sombrero on my head while they sang the song in English!

The cake was a chocolate truffle cake and was so yummy. We were all full but managed to eat a small slice before going back to work. I work with some great girls. Even though I've only worked closely with them for 3 months they have become better friends than the people I thought were my friends who hardly talk to me anymore.

When I got back to work there was another big bag of peanut m&m's on my desk from James our co-manager.

About a half hour before I was supposed to get off, I got another phone call from my dad. When I answered he shouted "Happy Birthday!" I said "Dad, we've already done this today." He said "How do you like your present?" I said "Dad, I'm still at work." He said "Oh, when do you get off?" I said "Four o'clock like always." He said "oh okay I'll call you later." ??????????????????

Earlier in the day I called Leslie to let her know that I would come out after work to pick up Cambria for our girls night birthday sleepover. She told me that she was going to Salt Lake to pick up my present and would probably be at my house when I got off because it was too big to take to her house and then back to my house later. Well that and the phone call from dad had just put my curiosity into overdrive. So I left a few minutes early because I had to get home to see what was going on.

As I was getting into my car Les called to see where I was because she had forgotten the key to my house and they were waiting and plus she needed to know what I wanted done with it???????

When I pulled around the corner there was Leslie and Paul and the kids sitting in the car port with a mattress and box spring in the back of their truck. I was so surprised. This was a joint gift from my Mom, Dad, Charles, Debbie (and I understand it was her idea), Angel, Jamie, Leslie and Paul and the grandchildren.

When I opened the back door there was a birthday card in between the screen and the door from the Primary presidency with a coupon for an ice cream from Peach City.

They quickly moved my old bed out and put the new bed in. I had them take the old mattress downstairs. I will drag it out into the family room when the kids spend the night so they don't have to sleep in the cold basement floor.

When Cambria and I came back from our outing (I will expand in my next entry) There was another card and gift in my door from Jackie plus she had left me a message on my phone when we had come out of the movie. Carol came over this afternoon and gave me a flower and card and told me that she had bought us tickets to go see Jon Schmidt at Thanksgiving Point next Saturday for my birthday.

Then when I checked my emails and facebook and saw all the birthday greetings, I couldn't believe it.

Some of the things that happened were just small gestures but the total impact on me was huge.
I realized how lucky I am to have such great friends and family that don't give up on me even when I'm at my worst. I felt so much genuine love that my heart and spirit felt renewed after wallowing in the dark for the last 3 months.

I know the Lord is truly watching over me and through his 'Tender Mercies' let's me know that I am loved and that I am important.

So since I'm now 52 (agh that sounds so much older than I feel) I made of list of 52 things about me...
1. I was born at Ladd Air Force Base, Alaska
2. I was born in a territory not a state, I have my military birth card to prove it. I know this ages me but not everyone can say that about themselves.
3. I always wanted to be a ballerina AND a concert pianist
4. My favorite color is RED, it makes me feel more confident
5. I watch Anime
6. I've always wanted a horse, my dad promised me one when he retired from the Air Force and I am still waiting for it.
7. I am a dog person, I've had two. One was a mut Angel gave me named Babe and the other was a Springer Spaniel named Bud. Both I had to get rid of because of the landlord.
8. I have a lot of CD's of pianist that I have their music books for too and I like to put on the CD and play the piano along with it.
9. I would like to go to college and study music
10. I love rock (music) the harder the better
11. I would like to go back to Alaska some day. I actually get homesick for it.
12. When I wake up in the middle of the night and can't sleep, I get up and play the piano till I feel like I can go back to sleep.
13. I love to read, I'd rather read a good book than watch TV
14. My daughters are my best friends
15. I like to go to the drag races, I love to hear the roar of fast cars
16. I love the mountains and always want to live somewhere where I can see them
17. My favorite food is Mexican, but I like ALL kinds of food, but if you ask me where I want to eat I will always choose a Mexican restaurant first and the hotter the better
18. My favorite flowers are the Daffodil and the Columbine
19. I have never been to Disneyland
20. I drive a stick shift(always have), like them better than automatics
21. My favorite sport is basketball, to play and to watch
22. I sing along with the radio or whatever I am listening to
23. I like to walk in the rain or snow
24. I'm an Air Force Brat and proud of it. I still get a tingle whenever jets fly over head
25. I have 5 grandchildren who I love to do things with
26. I scrapbook
27. I like to watch all kinds of dance
28. I have a cockatiel(sp?) named Pesto, Yes, Diana he is still alive.
29. I have worked in Retail since I was 24.
30. I love to watch the seasons change
31. I am the oldest of five siblings
32. When I was 8 years old my Grandpa Diehl let me steer the plane he was flying
33. I am a romantic
34. I worked for a week in my uncle's Navy Recruiting Office when I was 15
35. My favorite holiday is Christmas
36. My favorite smell is cinnamon
37. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints
38. I have never baked a pie
39. I believe that music has the power to heal the soul
40. I've never tried sushi
41. I don't have a tattoo (see Dad I'm still in the will!)
42. I have one scar from major surgery
43. I had to wear braces and I have 8 less teeth than most people because my mouth was too small.
44. My favorite time of year is Autumn
45. My favorite wild animal is the tiger
46. I'm very insecure about myself
47. I have 3 nephews and no nieces (so far)
48. I was born on my Grandma Diehl's 40th birthday and named after her and I use her as my roll model for being a grandmother
49. I know that my Father in Heaven loves me
50. I went to at least 3 elementary schools, 2 junor highs and 2 high schools and was home schooled for kindergarten
51. My eyes are brown
52. I have been blessed with great friends and a wonderful family